I have been thinking about this post for a long time. So many times I’ve began writing it and so many times I’ve abandoned it; but it’s time to spit it all out, so deep breath… here it is…
Using my blog as my main website for my wedding planning services means that there are things I have refrained from sharing because I feel the pressure of always appearing efficient, professional, happy, under control. But the reality is, I’m human and sometimes life gets hard even for someone like me who is usually in total control. I would never ever let my personal matters affect my clients, but I really wanted this blog to be a reflection of me, my likes, my dislikes, my passions, my work, my ups and downs. My life. With time, I’ve realised that not being able to share these things because of the pressure to ‘perform’ is making me sad.This blog was born as a way to document my journey into wedding planning while I was still working in media, and as a way to keep weddings at the forefront of my mind while I still had no way out, so that I would never forget what my ultimate goal was. But then I started to feel the pressure of self-employment and of having to make a living. So I reasoned, if I have to spend so much time on the blog, I need to start making money out it. And that’s when I started losing joy in blogging. I constantly have big dreams and ideas that never see the light of the day. And that’s because of the self-doubt and fear that it would never be good enough to drive the engagement I need in order for the blog to become a buzzing hive of brides and suppliers and give me a return…
Anyone who knows me well would tell you that I’m not a loser, I don’t give up, EVER, and I always strive for the best, no matter how hard or how long it’s going to take me to get to that point. But for the first time in my life I’ve been debating whether to let go of the blog or not; for the first time I felt like giving up because in my mind I felt that no one will ever take me seriously enough… because I feel like a fraud… I then think about the future and possibilities that blogging is going to give me if I stick to it, and I realise how desperately I need this to work out. I just need to find a way to regain the joy in blogging that I seem to have lost.
The last few weeks have also taught me something about myself; something that in a way I already knew, but that has now been reinforced. My strength as a person is to be other people’s anchor. And perhaps this quality is what made me feel I would make a damn good wedding planner – because I know how to hold it together when other people seem to be falling apart. My strength is in supporting others, advising, help them analyse and make sense of the situation they are in and find solutions. Somehow the way I best support others in my daily life is with my written words… I write countless and endless notes to my friends because that’s the one and only way I know to best express myself. This is what I do best. And this is what I miss when I blog – not being able to freely express my thoughts about topics other than weddings.
So here it is, this is how I’m going to make it work: from now on Linen and Silk will be an open book, a place where I document both my personal and professional life, because the truth is, I love writing when I have no boundaries, when I can express myself openly.
Brides, suppliers, you will get to see the real me, the girl behind the wedding planner, with her weaknesses, her idiosyncrasies, her ‘moments’, but also her likes, her passions, and the things that make her happy. There will be a lot more reflective posts about the things in life that matter to me: love, family and friendship. Sometimes there might be long, deep posts, other times just images of things that caught my eye or that inspire me.
You will either love or hate me. And if you hate me, then I’m sorry if I’m going to lose you as my reader, but if you love me, then please stick with me and talk to me. I enjoy it a whole lot more when you engage and communicate with me via the blog.
Will real weddings, engagements, styled shoots, suppliers focus, and inspiration boards still be featured on Linen and Silk? Hell yes! I live and breathe weddings, so they will continue being an integral part of this blog. Linen and Silk still remains ‘Linen and Silk Weddings’ – I just need to give myself the freedom to blog about the things that make me desire to open the computer and start typing, that’s all…
If you are a wedding supplier, feel free to hit me up with your products, your ideas, your shoots, your weddings. For info on how to submit, go to my submission page or simply send me an email. If you are a bride and would like me to cover a specific topic or put together an inspiration board for a specific wedding theme, just drop me an email elisabetta[at]linenandsilk-weddings[dot]com.
And lastly, there will also be a change to some of my services, introducing something new and exciting that I’ve been working hard on in the last two months. More to come in the next weeks, but if you want any sneak peeks, then you might want to follow me on Instagram (@linen_and_silk).
So, what do you reckon, will you stay with me as I go through this new phase of Linen and Silk? I sincerely hope you will, because I absolutely love writing and I just want to give you my best, not a ‘compromise of me’ just because I fear being judged by colleagues or suppliers…
Baci e abbracci,
BettaCredits: “If you stop dreaming” poster via Phomer // “Doubt kills more dreams“