I saw this on my facebook feed a day ago and it got me thinking. My husband is my best friend. We were friends before we became lovers. We drew closer to each other after spending hours and hours together and on the phone. And then one day our hands decided to hold each other and the magic began. If you asked me now “What’s the best way to make sure that I will have a long lasting relationship?”, my answer would be pretty simple: “Don’t look for love. Look for a friend that complements you. It’s the sweetest surprise when you realise that you want to wake up next to her or him every day for the rest of your life”.
You meet a person, and yes, you might be attracted physically, but real love is when you take the time to peel the layers of his/her personality, ideally as a friend first of all, and you realise that the deeper you look within that person, the more you are attracted to him/her. Other times you let romance take over, and then, when you start peeling the layers of his/her personality, you realise that the inner person is not at all as attractive as the outer person. And that’s when the butterflies in the stomach you initially had disappear. Is not about falling out of love. It’s about realising that it wasn’t real, deep, tested love in the first place. It was attraction, passion and a sense of temporary happiness based on those qualities that are superficial. Long term happiness and solid love is so much more than this.
And this, I feel, applies to friendship too. Because, let’s face it, picking one or two human beings whom you chose to share what’s in your soul with is love – just a different kind of love, but nonetheless strong and deep. The more you look within them, the more you are attracted by their inner beauty; it takes time to peel those layers and get to the point where you are ready to let them see the raw You. But when it happens, and you see their beauty, you know that that friendship will be worth more than anything in the world 🙂
So how did your love story begin? Do you feel there is truth in that statement: “You fall in love from the inside out”? Is my experience one in a million, or have you fallen for your best friend too?
Credit: quote via FB page ‘Even if I spend a whole day with you…“
My boyfriend is not my best friend but he amused me as he was able to fully understand me and love me for the way I am without trying to change me. We have different thoughts, different life experiences but we love to spend time talking and sharing ideas and opinions. Everywhere I am, also if we are not together, I don t need to text or call him millions of times, I know he will be there for me to fill my eyes with joy and love every time I will come back home. I don’ t know if it will last forever, but for now I know that I wanna wake up every morning next to him!
What a lovely post – I knew on my first date that my husband was THE ONE. I “chased” him until he caught me (well I didn’t chase, I was just patient and persistent) and 35 years later we are still in love! We became friends after our marriage as we settled in to daily married life. But what I want to tell all you young people who are still searchinh for the right one (or who are married and go through periods of questioning your choice): Remember: He (or she) might not be perfect (as you make comparisons to other people’s spouses) but he (or she) may be perfect for YOU. That is all that matters.
Such a beautiful thought Miriam. Expectations nowadays seem to be the highest ever. The moment your partner doesn’t fulfil one of those expectations, it just seems to be acceptable to let go and break up. So sad to see… The happiest couples are those that can clearly see each other’s faults, but still accept them as part of what makes their other half unique 🙂